The Real Nightmare
by Marie218
Summary: Set after 5x21. They've failed each other. Caroline blames herself for his death while Stefan blames himself for her pain. The only thing they need is each other but when life and death is literally keeping them apart they don't know what else to do. She refuses to give up but he's asking her to if there is no other way. "...but dammit Salvatore that girl loves you."


A/N: New Steroline oneshot. As expected I had a lot of feelings after watching the episode and just had to write something. It might be a little OOC for Caroline seeing how I made her react but to me it felt real.

And for those who asked for a sequel to my previous Steroline one shot, I want to write one it's just if it turns into a story I don't want to leave you guys hanging if I don't update. I've been really bad about updating my stories. I have started a sequel but I'm not sure on finishing.

Please enjoy!

She wasn't broken. She was destroyed.

Broken meant it could be fixed, that Stefan could come back and it would be like it never happened. That they would just go right back to fighting the Travellers and Stefan would be by their side keeping a silent eye on everyone. This was final though. There was no returning from his death this time, it was the end of the line.

She would no longer see those beautiful green eyes, his rare but gentle smile, and his strong caring for others. Caroline would no longer see Stefan Salvatore, her best friend.

It was worse when Bonnie confirmed he had passed on. That he had come to her asking if she has figured out a way to bring them back to which Bonnie admitted the truth. Now here they all were, back at the boarding house trying to figure out if they should mourn first or take out their anger.

Caroline knew what she would do when the first batch of tears fell.

There was no way she could hold it in. She watched him die, she was the only one who was there when it happened, and maybe she didn't break down right away but she was in shock.

Stefan of all people to die? No it couldn't be true, he was the hero, the one they could turn to for a helping hand. Caroline thought she was imagining the whole thing and believed he would wake up because it wasn't supposed to be Stefan that died. If anything it should have been her, she pissed off Julian, but Stefan wasn't going to let that happen of course he wasn't. He was the protector, keeping anyone out of harm's way at any cost.

And now Caroline was mad at him for it. She couldn't stand the idea of Stefan putting his life before hers because now he was dead. If anything Caroline wanted to be the one to save him because like she told Enzo, she would do anything to save his life, except this time she was useless.

He had saved her and protected her so many times that it was time she did the same except she failed. Again.

First Tom, now Stefan. She couldn't save either of them and now they were both dead because of her inability to save them.

Now she'll have to live with that regret and pain for the rest of her life.

She'll have to live with out Stefan for the rest of her life.

Caroline doesn't even remember how she did it before. She wished she could say she didn't remember who she was before turning into a vampire and becoming friends with Stefan but she did. She remembered that she hated that everyone loved Elena, she was never the first choice, and hated that she was so insecure and tried so hard to get people to like her. Then she turned and Stefan helped her.

Caroline learned to care about other people and to be selfless. She remembered that Elena was still her friend, that no matter what she would be there for her, and that she didn't have to be first in everyone's life, she just had to be there for them. In Stefan's presence though Caroline felt first, even when he was happily with Elena, because everyone was equal to him.

Stefan taught Caroline to be a better person. He made her want to be one.

Now he was gone.

She had to go outside because the sobs were suffocating her. Caroline needed to release all the pain she felt at that moment even though it would stay with her forever.

No one had said anything when she went straight out the door to the backyard and cried by herself. She leaned against one of the pillars and slid down. All Caroline could do was let the tears and sobs escape. His death constantly replayed in her mind and it was like a stake to the heart. Caroline felt cold and empty as if Stefan took part of her with him.

Her face was drenched but she couldn't stop, whenever she tried to calm down his dead face came to mind. She didn't know how she was going to move on from this. Not only was his heart ripped out but so was hers. Pieces of her heart fell with Stefan's body and it was ripped when she realized he wasn't coming back.

Caroline couldn't handle this. She didn't know why it was breaking her heart so much or why every time her mind reminded her Stefan was dead she broke down again. She was crying and wanted Stefan to come comfort her but she was in for a rude awakening every time.

This was all her fault. He was dead and gone from her because she couldn't save him.

She repeated his name over and over again hoping he would just show up and tell her it was just a horrible nightmare. Caroline sobbed his named, cried it out, and once when the pain became to much at a point she screamed his name.

He never showed up.

There were footsteps. She could feel them coming toward her.

"Care?" Bonnie asked.

Caroline just cried.

Bonnie sat down next to her and pulled her best friend in for a hug. She knew it wouldn't help her but she couldn't stand to see Caroline like this, Bonnie had never seen her like this. She didn't even know that Stefan and Caroline meant this much to each other.

"How's everyone taking it?" Caroline asked through her tears when they broke the hug.

Bonnie looked down. "Damon is angry, you can tell he's really upset but he's using his anger to cover it up. Elena is sitting by herself crying and Matt and Jeremy are sitting their quietly, they don't know how to take it yet."

Caroline nodded. She felt a little selfish coming out here when Damon just lost his little brother but he wasn't the only one who lost someone and Caroline couldn't just hold it in. She loved Stefan like she loved all her friends, Damon couldn't be the only one that was upset.

She sniffed trying to get herself to calm down a little, it wasn't healthy to cry so much. All she wanted were for the images to stop and to find away to get over Stefan's death because this pain was too much, she couldn't handle it for the rest of her undead life.

Caroline knew it was pointless.

"I just want him back Bonnie," she said and fresh tears escaped. Caroline dropped her head on Bonnie's shoulder. Bonnie pulled her back to her and could feel the sobs coming from the blonde.

"I know Care, I'm so sorry," Bonnie told her holding on tight. Caroline felt her wet cheek, she was crying too.

The two girls mourned their friend together.

Enzo was standing in the shadows of the forest, watching the two friends mourn their loss. He had to admit that he was surprised that Bonnie and Caroline were more vocal about their sadness then Damon and Elena were. Not that they weren't mourning in their own way.

He heard the crunch of leaves behind him but Enzo didn't bother looking back.

"Bout time you showed up," he said.

"Well it's not very easy watching the people you care about cry over you," Stefan told him.

"I wouldn't know," Enzo said. He wasn't upset about it but it would have been nice to see someone cry over his death. Damon was and Enzo missed his friend but Damon wasn't a cry baby.

"You did disappear earlier, saw you for a little while then poof," he said turning around to face Stefan. The newly dead vampire was trying to keep his gaze any where away from his friends. His hands were in his pockets and he looked almost anxious like he wanted to say or do something.

Enzo would bet money it had to do with Caroline.

"Lets just say I had to run an errand," Stefan told him walking up next to him.

"Oh well did you remember to pick up the milk?" Enzo smirked.

"Funny."

Enzo chuckled.

Caroline let out a sob.

"She's really taking this hard," Enzo said moving his gaze back to the girls.

Stefan kept quiet.

"No comment?" Enzo asked.

Stefan shrugged.

Enzo really couldn't figure him out.

"How about your little errand then?"

"You know you're a lot more nosey dead, than well, undead," Stefan told him.

Enzo smirked. "Guess the sass really does run in the family."

Stefan looked away. Enzo knew he must have struck a nerve at the word family. He had no family left and now neither did Damon.

"Why do you want to know anyway? It's not like we were buddies or anything," Stefan said.

"Well you and I are the only ones that seem to be around so looks like we're stuck together," Enzo started spreading his arms as to emphasise they were the only ones there. "Might as well get to know each other. Except I don't think we can raise much havoc on the other side, but I'm sure we'll find something. There's always something ready to be destroyed."

"Hate to ruin your idea of a good time, but last I heard it's pretty boring over here," Stefan said looking around again.

"Oh? And who told you that?" Enzo asked.

Enzo was a bit surprised how Stefan was making easy conversation with him but he sensed it had to do with the discomfort of watching Caroline cry her eyes out.

"It's not the first time ghosts have made their way around Mystic Falls."

"Do tell."

Stefan sighed. He knew there was no way getting around Enzo with the way he was feeling.

"That errand was me looking for my best friend. Damon killed her and I thought maybe finding her would make this easier but no luck," Stefan admitted. Stefan looked even more upset like this was just another thing to add to the list.

"Sorry about that mate," Enzo said. Well that was new to learn. Damon kills his best friend and now Stefan kills his, the way those two think is amazing.

Caroline was crying again. The sobs grew louder and the tears fell faster. Enzo had never seen anyone care so much like Stefan and Caroline did about each other.

Stefan started to walk away. He couldn't watch his friends cry over him, he couldn't stand to see Caroline like that. If his heart hadn't already been ripped out it would be right now. Caroline in pain was pain for Stefan, his chest felt heavier with every sob that escaped her lovely lips.

"So that's it you're just going to leave?" Enzo called after him.

Stefan stopped.

"That girl loves you."

Stefan whirled around, shocked by those words.

Enzo stepped toward him.

"Now I'm not saying she's in love with you but somehow someway she does. I don't know how far those feelings are or how deep they go but dammit Salvatore that girl loves you."

Stefan looked at Caroline and his heart broke at the scene in front of him. Caroline was distraught, she looked like she had lost everything, like her entire world finally crashed around her. He caused this. It was his fault Caroline was in so much pain.

In that moment Stefan knew, he loved her too. He didn't know how far or how deep his own feelings were because he's been questioning them for awhile, like he's been questioning Caroline's, but it didn't matter. He just knew he loved Caroline.

Stefan looked down. "It doesn't matter now, no one can do anything about it. It's too late."

"Don't kid yourself, Bonnie is right there. You know what you have to do," Enzo told him.

Stefan didn't understand why Enzo was feelings so strongly about this but he knew he was right. He knew what he had to do.

He walked past Enzo toward his two friends.

Bonnie could hear footsteps but didn't know where they were coming from. She looked up though to see Stefan infront of her.

He put a finger to his lips. Stefan didn't want Caroline to know he was here yet.

Bonnie nodded.

Stefan crouched in front of Caroline. He put a hand to her face but he couldn't feel her, just like she couldn't feel him.

"I don't like seeing her like this," he said.

Stefan moved to sit next to her.

He tried to touch her. Stefan traced his finger down her cheek, tried to wipe away a tear but Caroline gave no reaction. Finally he just placed a hand on top of hers.

Stefan looked at Bonnie and nodded.

"Stefan's here," she said.

Caroline lifted her head. Her eyes were red and puffy, her face dirty from the tracks of tears but it almost broke Bonnie's heart seeing the hopeful look in Caroline's eyes.

Bonnie nodded to Caroline's left side. "Next to you."

Caroline slowly turned her head. All she saw was nothing.

"Stefan," she whispered. Her voice cracked just a bit and it tugged at Stefan and Bonnie.

"Hey," he whispered back.

"I miss you," she said and a tear fell from each eye.

Again he tried to wipe them away with no luck. "I miss you too."

"He said he misses you too," Bonnie said.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save you," she sobbed.

Stefan's eyes began to water. "It's not you're fault Care."

"Stefan said it's not your fault."

Caroline shook her head vigorously. "Yes it is, I should have never pissed off Julian. Then you would have never had to save me."

A tear escaped from Stefan. "I'll protect you know matter what. All of you," Stefan said but looked at Bonnie at the last part.

She nodded her head crying.

"He said he will protect you, anyone of us."

Caroline sniffed and tried to wipe away her tears but they just fell.

"I just want you back, that's all I want," Caroline told him. Stefan wanted to cry with them, he missed her, he missed being here with all of them.

"I want that too Care. I want to be here with you."

Bonnie was a bit shocked at the words. It was like he didn't just want to be alive next to her but maybe actually with her.

"He wants to be here too, with you," Bonnie told her. She didn't know what to make of the exchanged words between the two.

Stefan looked at Caroline as Bonnie repeated the words. He'd never seen her so upset before, so saddened, something died within her when he did. Seeing her crying was like seeing a beautiful sunny summer day being ruined by rain clouds, rain clouds he created.

He couldn't let caroline be like this for the rest of her life.

"Bonnie," he said.

She looked up at him.

"I need you to tell Caroline something."

Bonnie nodded. "Okay."

Caroline turned to her. "Did he say something? Is he leaving?"

Panic crossed Caroline's face.

"No, he wants me to tell you something."

"What?"

"He was just about to tell me," Bonnie told her.

Stefan crouched down in front of Caroline again.

"Tell her I believe she can get me back because I believe in everything she does. I believe in her."

Bonnie repeated and Caroline wept.

"Tell her that until then I'm going to miss her like crazy. I miss her right now. I'm going to wait for her."

She repeated again.

"Tell her that I'll be watching over her, that there won't be a day that I'm not with her. When she thinks I'm not there I will be."

Caroline was sobbing. Stefan wanted to hold her so badly and say everything would be okay.

But it wasn't.

"And lastly tell her that I love her. She's one of the best things to ever happen to me and she'll always be my best friend," Stefan started.

Bonnie was crying now with Caroline as she told her what he had just said and now Caroline was breaking down.

"I love you too," she sobbed. "I love you so much Stefan."

Stefan released some tears. "Wait, I'm not finished."

"He's not finished yet Care," Bonnie told her.

Caroline nodded.

Stefan placed both his hands on her knees, wanting to at least remember what it felt like to touch her, and looked at her.

"Tell her that even though I believe in her, I'll miss her, I'll be watching over her and I love her, tell her that if she can't find a way I want her to give up. I want you all to give up."

"Stefan," Bonnie said disbelieved.

"What? What did he say?" Caroline asked.

Stefan looked at Bonnie. "I'm serious Bonnie. Give up, all of you. Move on because I will. I can't stand the thought of everyone spending the rest of their lives and eternity trying to get me back when you could be living."

His eyes went back to Caroline. "Don't let me hold you back from experiencing new things Caroline."

Bonnie stood up. "I'm not going to tell her that."

Caroline stood too. "Tell me what?"

"Bonnie please," Stefan started lifting himself from the ground.

"No, okay, we're going to get you back. There's a way I know it," Bonnie said.

"Bonnie."

"I'm not telling her Stefan because it's not true."

"What's not true?" Caroline asked getting irritated.

"Bonnie, please, tell her. I need to know that I said those words and that she heard them. I can't keep her stuck on false hope the rest of her life, please," Stefan begged.

She stood there looking up at him, a lone tear escaping, her voice was quiet. "We're going to get you back."

Stefan nodded but he pleaded with his eyes for her to tell Caroline. Bonnie finally turned to Caroline and repeated the heart breaking words.

She shook her head. "No Stefan, do you hear me? I am not giving up on you. You never gave up on me and I will never give up on you. Do you understand? I am not giving up on you, ever."

Tears fell from her gorgeous light green eyes.

Stefan was going to speak up but there was a gust of wind. Only Bonnie and Stefan reacted.

"Bonnie are you okay?" Caroline asked.

There was more wind and Enzo walked up.

"Time to go mate, we've overstayed our welcome," he said.

"What are you talking about?" Stefan asked.

"The otherside is adjusting to the fact that it has a doppelganger so now it's trying to reset itself by locking us back up," Enzo said.

"That's right Stefan," Bonnie spoke up. "A doppelganger is dead so now you guys will be back on the otherside."

"What?" Caroline said. Panic again descending upon her face.

Stefan turned to her. This was probably the last time he would see her or even be remotely in contact with her.

That was enough to make him die all over again.

A bigger gust of wind came and a faint sound of thunder.

"We better go," Enzo said.

Stefan looked at Bonnie. "Promise me?"

She didn't want to but Bonnie nodded. "Promise."

His gaze went back to Caroline but there was nothing he could to say to her that he hasn't already said. And he wasn't about to say goodbye to either of them.

He and Enzo were starting to walk off when Caroline spoke.

"I love you Stefan. I need you to know that if I don't see you for awhile," she said even though she didn't know where he was.

He nodded. "I know, I love you too."

She smiled almost as if she heard him.

"We're wasting time Stefan," Enzo called.

He took once last glance at his friends and followed Enzo into the forest. They disappeared seconds later.

Caroline and Bonnie looked at each other. Even though Caroline was still in tremendous pain and wanted to fold into herself, to let the tears take over, she knew now that she couldn't.

Just because they promised they both knew they wouldn't keep it. He never gave up on them and so they wouldn't on him. They loved him because he was their friend and the world needed more people like Stefan.

She was going to get him back, no matter what it took, she was going to get back the best friend that she loved.

"I'll see you again," she whispered into the wind knowing some how it will carry back to him.

Caroline Forbes won't fail him again.

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! I know that this story might be a little angsty so just to lighten the mood here's a line I translated from Gizoogle that had me cracking up.

Know which part of the story it's from?

"Caroline would no longer peep Stefan Salvatore, her dopest playa."

Thanks again!


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